Utes vs Beavers or Palin vs Biden or Baby Ute

Decisions, decisions, what should I do. Thursday night my Utes play the beavers that recently dethroned USC and the Vice Presidential debates take place. In addition to all this my wife and I have are third semester class that night so I have a plan.

I will listen to the Utes on the radio but tell my wife I'm listening to the Vice Presidential debates because it's my civic duty while I'm in the third trimester debate.

I am so smart SMRT. (you have to say the last line in a Homer Simpson voice)

I Swear I'm Not A Robot

Have you ever stared at a word verification and had no idea what letters or numbers you were looking at. Today I entered in a word verification literally 20 times until I could get it right. I swear I'm not a robot I'm a real person please let me past your word verification. In the end it turns out I was putting the verification in the password box but still half the verifications looked like a Picasso alphabet. All this said I have a word verification because you might be a robot unless you can prove otherwise.

Did I Just Rub That On My Face Or Eat It.

Jim Gaffigan is a very funny comedian check out this routine.

I was thinking about this routine after I ate at Taco Bell the other night and while tasty the consequences had me feeling much the same.

"The Breast Is Best"

According to PETA good restaurants should stop using cows milk and start using human breast milk.  Check this article out.   What should Ben and Jerry's name their new breast milk ice cream, I suggest PETA Puker or Milk My Mama.

What Can Awake The Blogging Beast

Oh Yeah it's that time!! See you after February 1st.

My Old Man and The Mounted Stallions

No it's not the title of a forgotten Hemingway novel it's the almost title of my Dad's motor cycle gang.


So my Dad told me that a half dozen of his 50 and up friends were looking for a name to put on their leather jackets. The oldest rider suggested, "The Mounted Stallions". When my Dad told me we both laughed pretty hard but I'm not sure if we were laughing for the same reasons and I don't really want to ask.

I love Call Girls and My Wife

what am I saying?!!

When I was studying for my final my wife came up with an awesome way to remember a boring formula. C > S - X, at first glance it looks like call girls are greater than sex. Which is to say the price of a call is greater than the stock price minus the strike price. All very boring but at least I made you look.

So, I love my wife for helping me remember this formula and apparently I love call girls.

Ben's Joke

My brother-in-law is a very funny guy and here is a joke he made up, I love it. I think it would make a great comic.

A sadistic clown walks into a dark woods with a little boy. The boy says, "I'm Scared". The clown looks at him and says, "You're scared? I'm the one walking back alone!"

Morbid I know but admit it, you did laugh.

My Favorite Clips From "Hot Rod"

This is the scene directly after the Kevin Karaoke one.

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock

For the past ten years, no exaggeration, I have been quoting a mystery movie, "tick tock tick tock tick tock" with my creepy villainous voice. I haven't been able to remember which movie it came from. Every time I would say it I would quiz whoever was around me to see where it came from.

Finally, last night I saw the movie I had only seen one time back in 1992, "Silence of The Lambs". I freaked out when Hannibal said the line. Most of you have had something on the tip of your tongue for a day but how many of you have had it on the tip of your tongue for 16 years!!! I feel like I just scratched an unscratchable itch. Hallelujah!!!!!

First Flashback Friday Ever!

Driving back from school I just heard 3 cool songs in a row that I had completely forgotten about. While Blind Melon, Elastica, and Bush played over the airwaves images of cruising in my Dad's Jeep, towing the boat with the windows down swept over me,I was feeling like a teenager again.

The D.J.'s voice broke in and ripped me from the carefree 90's of my teenage years, "Your listening to 'The 90's at Noon'.....", oh crap. I'm that guy! I realized that I have become that guy insists the best songs were written when he was in highschool. That guy that talks about all the music of yesteryear while the younger guy looks on in pity afraid to burst his bubble. I'm "Bubble Boy" surrounded by the safe familiar plastic protection of the decades gone by. I remember listening to the "80's Old School Lunch", but now it's my turn.

I guess it's time to buy a mini-van, move to the burbs and embrace the future. At least all the car commercial song's are the ones I like, there has to be some advantage to getting older.

In homage to all the late 90's rockers I'm posting a link to my Brother's old band "Sofa", the song is "Stealing Chicken" and still is in rotation on my ipod.

Jeff 1, Bestbuy -1

Don't ever buy the store warranties!

When Lexi and I bought our new laptop they tried to sell us the Bestbuy service plan warranty for an extra $100. The sceptical bargin hunter that I am had read in Consumer Reports how it never makes sense to buy them declined.

Fast forward a couple weeks and our computer won't charge. Acer's website kindly told us to take our computer into Bestbuy to be serviced as long as it was under the manufacturer warranty.

Jeff 1, Bestbuy o

Most stores try to sell you "store warranties" that offer little to no benefit. Like this example it just overlaps an existing warranty.

Also check out this perpetual coupon that can always be printed I found on my favorite website, www.Lifehacker.com. I don't get any points for this but it can't be good for Bestbuy so...

Jeff 1, Bestbuy -1

Jeffer out!

I Love My Google Reader

I love the Google Reader because now I don't have to visit sites that have laid fallow for the last month, like mine.

My favorite feed on the reader is Make Magazine, who else will show you how to make a neumatic exoskeleton for under $100. I also love Lifehacker, they always have a interesting time saving tip or two. Even though technically she is my wife's friend Kate McNeil's Blog is always entertaining. She has mastered the art of succinct entries, sadly I have not.

Which Blogs or sites are your favorite.

Birthday Rules

Today is my Birthday and I feel constrained by its unspoken rules. This afternoon I was bored and wanted to call some friends and chat. I didn't dare because of the first Birthday rule:

Thou shall not call friends or family on your birthday until they have called you first.

The second rule is like unto it, thou shalt enjoy all the attention you get even if you would rather pretend it wasn't your birthday.

I can put up with those rules because if you follow those two you pretty much have free reign to do what ever you want all day.

This.......

Is it just me or every year American Idol is on the air does Ryan Seacrest add another second between this and is American Idol? Another year or two they will have to go to a commercial break before he finishes his sentence.

Never Present Last!

Today my group presented a 50 minute case study on eBay in my Advanced Strategic Management class. As each of the 8 members rapidly read their slides twice as fast as they should have my time quickly approached. With 15 minutes left in the presentation and only 5 minutes of material to present my turn arrived.

What did I learn today? Never present last! I learned that I can only talk about nothing for 10 minutes to a crowd of 80 bored students.

More Important; Clean Hands or a Clean Concience

I must confess the only reason I was my hands after I leave the bathroom is because I want to be nice to everyone else. Frankly, I shower daily and my nether regions are most likely cleaner than my hands so logically I should wash my hands before I take a wizz rather than the other way around.

Before I leave the bathroom I tell myself, "if you want to be a good citizen wash your hands". Basically I'm trying to tell you if you see me slide morally, lets say I have an about face and start becoming a jerk I guarantee that post bathroom hand washing will be the first thing to go.

A Deadly Combination

Hammers, a man on a mission, no stud-finder, and impatience have proven to be a fatal combination for the wall next to my entry. I decided to hang a hook for my bike to make space in my apartment. After getting my bike cleaned and tuned, and having bought the necessary hardware to proceed I set out on my ill-fated errand.

Fueling the fires of my frustration I spent a frenzied half hour looking for my illusive stud-finder, mistake one. Being the stubborn and resourceful man that I am I turned to the internet for guidance, mistake two. Upon discovering that coat hangers in the wall don't find studs but instead remove insulation; no magnets are strong enough to find a nail; lines in the wall aren't studs but mirages designed to entice you into making a myriad of one inch miniature windows to your neighbor's apartment; I committed errors three, four, and five.

The final mistake, hanging a bike on a hook that isn't screwed into a stud. What have we learned? Ladies, stud-finders are more than toys. Gentlemen, consult your neighbor before you make windows to their apartment.

Vulcan Mind Trap

Last evening I sat down with my wife and her family to watch a slide show of her trip to L.A. and the many pictures from the wax museum. Among the displays of mortuaresque figures was one of Star Wars. My wife, the devious woman that she is, was standing there doing Spock's vulcan V salute.

Shock and horror washed over me and my years of Star Trek: Next Generation upbringing took over, "Do you know what you are doing Lexi?". As soon as the words left my mouth I realized I had fallen into her Vulcan mind trap. She knew because I have given her the Star Trek, Star Wars lecture one to many times. Really, it is a double edged sword, or light Saber depending on your upbringing, to inform everyone that the vulcan V is for Star Trek and not Star Wars or pretend like you are a normal person, keep silent, and avoid ridicule.

As a true Sci-Fi fan you can't stand idly by and let such errors go uncorrected. As a 30-year-old man that has moved past fantasies of being Deanna Troi's Jonathen Frakes or ever creating a Holodeck to act out my cyber-noir fantasies with my red headed Beverely Crusher such old habits die hard. Everyone laughing at my seemingly uncontrolled trekie outburst I flashed back to Junior High and the day I realized that just because My family liked Star Trek didn't really make it cool.

Let this be a lesson to all no body cares about the correct pronunciation of Data, the fact that Deanna Troi is only half human, or Wesley Crusher's rank. Just keep your mouth shut and save it for the convention.